So Lorelei was watching some show on the Disney channel about "talented" (read untalented) kids who are so good at singing and/or dancing that multi-million dollar opportunities just fall from the skies and into their laps like magic fairy dust wrapped in what apparently passes as comedy these days; thus allowing actual children to have their hopes and dreams crushed good and early (like the movie
Blank Check had inappropriate relations with the show
Glee but with 13 year olds [the Glee part not the inappropriate relations part]). Anywho, some chubby kid was giving a speech to a teacher about how he was just as good as anyone else and how he could be whatever he wanted to be; when I thought to myself, what if the kid wanted to be a doughnut?
Chubby Kid: "I want to be a doughnut!"
Teacher: "You can't be a doughnut. (smirky smirky ha ha ha)"
Chubs: "Why not Ms. Jerk Face!?"
Teach: "Because that is impossible. You would have to change matter itself."
Chub-a-saurus-rex: (shaking fist in a maniacal manner) "I'll show you! I'll show matter! I'll show all of you!"
The Twat Formally Known as Teacher: "You and your husky Garanimals can sit back down"
So then this outcast shell of a child devotes his life to making this happen. He spends all day and night studying the nature and components of matter itself and in the process gains enough knowledge to become the greatest physicist of all time. His equally outcast, hair dyed, alternative girlfriend that he met online (aka Pedo Bear) is concerned about how this obsession is ruining him and their relationship (I know what you're thinking, great screen play, I KNOW...but no...but secretly yes...). But then...oh yes...but then he does it! He creates a device to alter the physical matter of any physically tangible thing. The scientific community rejoices, his family is proud, his girlfriend (read boyfriend) is so happy because she's a gold digger, but before he can show it to the world he has to settle one last score. So he finds the teacher and turns himself into a doughnut. Ha ha! Showed that street walking harlot who's boss! But alas, he is a doughnut. Doughnuts cannot gloat, they cannot revel, and they cannot show the world how the stupid invention works so now it is all for not, but they can make you feel like a Fatty McFattenstien after you've consumed a whole box of munchkins in your car on the way to work...sigh...but I digress.
This all got me thinking about if there are other great inventions that are not known or lost forever because the creator turned themselves into a doughnut? What if Nikola Tesla had an entire secret underground lair where he had all these great inventions that are still unmatched today but he was too busy saving them for his world domination scheme that currently no one knows about them even after his death? I mean look at the guy, he seems pretty sketchy when you think about it.
What if there are invention hoarders out there that collect ideas instead of money because they feel it gives them power over everyone else. Like if Scrooge McDuck dove into a pile of Technological Achievements for the betterment or destruction of mankind instead of coins? By the way, those coins had to have been made of marshmallows (there is marshmallow money right? Isn't that what they made from the remnants of the Stay Puff monster in
Ghostbusters?) because metal coins would kill a ninja jumping into them like that.
Moral of the Story: "Knowledge only has power when it is shared by all".
